THIS IS ME!

I’m Carol, a Mexican living in London.

I’m 38 years old...F*cking f*ck time flies! Hahaha

From time to time my internal existentialist turns up and makes me cringe to phrases like “the best version of yourself” or “it was meant to be” FFS!

I can’t live without music! Fun fact, the first conversation I had with the husband was about Radiohead. Handsome and with good taste! BOOM! 🖤

I’m introvert, not boring. Those two are different things, thank you. Wait, maybe I’m boring?!?!, oh oh, am I?...nah!, well probably for some people, oh dear, what if I am?... stop it! (Oh! forgot to say, I’m an overthinker)

I’ve been called laddy (not lady) because instead of a fancy cocktail I prefer a beer, a proper warm ale!

I can laugh for hours (or sometimes days) about the same simple and stupid joke. The husband is 100% convinced that sometimes I don’t even remember why I started to laugh in the first place. But I do, in my mind they roll in a loop and I can’t stop laughing.

My dream is to create a place where everybody feels free to be themselves. A place where we are provided of tools to understand who we are.  Where we’ll encourage each other to get out of our shell to show up as we are. Somewhere where you can connect with people like you. A place where we aren’t limited by that fear of being judged. Where we define what we want to do with OUR life based on what we enjoy instead of following our parents/society recipe to achieve a “successful” and “happy” life that has nothing to do with us.

Cool as a cucumber is that world that I want to see, a place free of judgment, a starting point to understand who you are to finally become a super cool person! And yes, to feel like a Rockstar!

Do you want to feel cool? Take action today!!

Picture this... tomorrow someone offers you a trip to somewhere different, somewhere where nobody knows you, where NOBODY WILL JUDGE you, where you are FREE TO BE YOURSELF!

OK, have you pictured it already? How does that look? How similar is your behaviour in that place compared to your everyday routine? Can you spot and name the differences?  

For some of us, the gap could be huge and overwhelming. For others, it’s not that different from the everyday life. But the truth is, the more we listen and attend our needs based on who we are and what we want, the more joy we can incorporate into our routine. 

If you have noticed a gap in between what you think and what you do, there’s a big chance that for whatever reason, you are stopping yourself from doing what you want. Being in that place can be quite frustrating and upsetting. I have struggled with that behaviour for a while, and the only thing that has helped me to change that pattern is to practice. Practicing with tiny little things have helped me to minimize that gap that is in between the thinking and doing.    

Now, the first thing to acknowledge that sometimes, we don’t even know what we want. We are so busy living our lives that we don’t take the time to understand WTF do I want? So let’s start with a very basic exercise. Try these for seven days only, I’d recommend that you write this down, use a gdoc, or a note in your phone or a little piece of paper, whatever you prefer. If you don’t want to is fine, but just keep in mind that our brain is already handling a lot of stuff, so if we can free some space by writing this down I guarantee you, your brain will be grateful :)

*** For the next seven days take a time at the end of the day to make a list of those things that you enjoyed. i.e. I liked that I didn’t have to rush this morning, I listened to music really loud and it felt good.   

***  Then, take the time to log of those things that made you feel uncomfortable or that you didn’t really enjoy. i.e. I didn’t have energy to meet my friends today but I just couldn’t say no, I was in a meeting and really wanted to share an idea but I just couldn’t, I felt really intimidated.

Yes, it is a very straightforward exercise but if you really put effort into it, you'll be closer to understand what you want! Let me know how it went. Don't forget that I'm on Instagram, tag me if you are feeling like you need support @beyou.feelcool

Manchester by the sea

I’ve spent the last two years really observing and realising who I am. And one of the things that I “discovered” and that I’ve found very powerful is the idea of setting up boundaries.  

Boundaries is quite a complex theme because it isn’t something that you can easily define or notice. And most importantly, to define boundaries you have to have a good comprehension of what are those things that you like/dislike. Meaning: you need to do your homework and get clear of who you are. Once you get clear about that, is going to be way easier to define those boundaries in every aspect of your life. And I should say, even if you think that you know yourself very well, it turns that we keep changing all the time and it is very hard to keep up with all these transformations. Perhaps today you like to go to sleep early, but maybe in six months time, you’ll realise it’s not your thing anymore. And that’s great! we are in constant transformation.  

I’ve recently seen the movie “Manchester by the sea! and if you haven’t seen it yet, perhaps you don’t want to read this blog post since it contains some spoilers.

Now, how are this movie and boundaries related? It was interesting because since it’s a very sad movie you don’t really end up uplifted after watching it (or at least I didn’t!). So there I was in my living room, kind of chewing the whole thing when suddenly, I started to realise how beautiful the ending is. How kind the main character is with himself and also with his nephew when he recognises that it is too much. He accepts he won’t be able to handle the situation, that if he really loves himself and his nephew then he shouldn’t stay in town. And I thought, how amazing and powerful is that. He was clear that the situation was surpassing not only him but his nephew as well. His nephew and ex-wife were impacted by his inability to handle the past combined with the current situation.

And we could have different takes and opinions about it, maybe we could think “oh he’s such a selfish person” or “he should man up and deal with the situation”, but, does he? I think there’s such power in recognising the battles that you want to fight and those where there’s no much you can/want to do and walk away feeling alright and cool with the decision that you made. Clearly, this character wasn't the happiest on earth, so saying that he left feeling cool is probably an overstatement hehehe, but you get the idea (I hope!). The whole concept of having boundaries is to make the best to keep yourself content and aligned with what you like.  

Anyway, that’s the conclusion that I had after seeing this movie. What do you think? Do you agree?

Start with WHY

It wasn’t until very recently that I heard about Simon Sinek’s work. In case you haven’t heard of him, he is a British-American author and marketing consultant that gain popularity after one TEDx talk became viral. Later on, he published the book “Start with why” that is basically the same content but more detailed.

His simple message? He says that the guiding principle of our endeavors should be based not on what we do or how we do it, but rather on why we do it.  “Knowing your why gives you a filter to make choices, at work and at home, that will help you find greater fulfillment in all that you do.”- taken from his website www.startwithwhy.com -

The whole concept is straightforward and clear. He talks about the “Golden Circle” and suggests that companies, leaders, and everybody should start by defining why they want to do something, then define the how and finally the what. Which according to him, must of the companies and a lot of people work in the opposite direction. Starting from WHAT they deliver/do, knowing HOW they do it and leaving at the end the WHY...which sometimes could be nonexistent. If you haven’t watched the video I’ll leave it at the bottom of this post.  

Now, how is this golden circle thing related to today’s post? Well, whilst reading about his work and approach I was recalling how this idea began and why I started this project in the first place. All those thoughts caught me by surprise and there I was, silly smile in place and unhelpfully optimistic. Which btw, I was relieved that this project actually has a WHY hahaha. Anyway, I felt like sharing it with you today, so there you have it, this is my WHY. Or perhaps my list of why :)

I started this project because:  

  • I believe we all have the right to feel free.

  • I want to provoke a pause, a moment where people stop to observe and analyse their everyday choices. I want them to be sure that whatever they are doing, wearing, dreaming, fearing, owning is because THEY genuinely want it.

  • I want people to feel in control. To have freedom of choice.

  • I want people to live a life they’ve created, fight for it and fantasize about it. I want them to take control of it with small steps, little by little, day by day, action by action. To regain space, terrain, and identity.

  • I want people to be themselves, to do more stuff that they enjoy and feel cool about it.

So here I am, building this project slowly but surely. It hasn’t been easy, lots of personal struggles are coming up whilst trying to create this, but it’s all for a good reason, well hopefully!! 

Carol

https://youtu.be/u4ZoJKF_VuA